One Life Ends and Another Begins....

     My oldest daughter, Shawndre', just found out this week she is expecting her second child.  After over a year of trying, for some reason, God felt now was the time.  She is not sure of the due date, but had a test today, which says she is at least 6 weeks pregnant....taking it back to the time Ryan died.  She has been telling me she needed something happy, something to look forward to, in order to get through this pain.  It seems her prayers were answered, and perhaps her brother, Ryan, is looking after her.  As we talked about this, my little girl cried...she really feels Ryan is with her now.
     I am very happy for her and her growing family.  I am happy for our entire family...we all need joy at this time in our lives.  We need to see there is a morning light that will shine through, especially since the world seems so dark right now.
     I feel so many different emotions with this new blessing.  Happiness, sadness, confusion, gratitude, but most of all, joy.....joy for what Shawndre' is feeling in her heart.  I feel I am witnessing the circle of life....God has taken a life from our family, He has given a life back to us.  This does not wash away an ounce of the grief I feel, or lessen my intense longing to have my Ryan home with me again, but I know it has given Shawndre' something to rejoice in...and for that I'm so grateful.  It's one of my children that I feel will somehow be OK now.  She needed something good and happy to help her through, she asked....and she was heard. 
     I have said before that I have always felt Ryan was my "miracle baby", due to the situation at his birth.  I now feel, as does Shawndre', that she has been given a "miracle baby"....and somehow, Ryan feels very alive in this.