Hearts from Ryan....

     I have been feeling like Ryan is not near me for some reason.  A very sad, and lonely feeling.  I have not seen hearts in the skies, or had whispers from God, over the past week....it has left me feeling very isolated.  I have been sadly  wondering....where has my Ryan gone?
     Today I decided to go through my top drawer, to see if there was something in there from Ryan.  I found a basketball pin, which I immediately placed on the dresser next to Ryan.  I found three different cards he had given me, or made me.  Each card expressed his love, and on each card he drew a single heart, or numerous hearts.  From when he was very small, he would always draw a heart on his cards for me.  I always thought it was sweet, but now I realize it was to be his sign to me, his sign to all.  "One Love....One Heart." 
     I then noticed two necklaces hanging above my dresser where Ryan rests.  One was a necklace from Disneyland from about 7 years ago.  I had given Ryan money to buy himself something, and when he came out of the store, he had spent the money on a gift for me.  A typical, giving gesture by Ryan.  It was too small to wear, so I hung it up where it would be safe.  Next to it, was a necklace I had forgotten about.  Another gift from Ryan.  I don't remember if it was Mother's Day or my Birthday, but I suppose it doesn't matter.  Ryan was upset he couldn't get me a gift, and his brother Sean, who was working, could.  He wanted to be able to show me he loved me the same way Sean did.  So Russ took him shopping for me.  He bought a heart shaped necklace, with "Mom" written inside the heart.  He told me it said Mom for me, and the heart was because his heart belonged to me.  He took my breath away and I remember feeling so loved at that moment, and today when I found it, I felt even more loved.  Again, it was a heart from Ryan. 
     In my hallway are a couple of pictures Ryan made in elementary school.  I loved them so much I framed them.  One is a very modern looking picture with geometrical shapes, and a vase holding flowers in the middle....and on the center of the vase holding the flowers, a single heart.  I had never even noticed that heart being there before.  I saw it today.... I felt Ryan. 
     To top things off, looking into the sky this afternoon I saw three different hearts, all bunched in a group near each other.  I knew Ryan was letting me know he IS here.  He gave me an abundance of hearts today, and though they may seem meaningless to someone else, they mean the world to me.....and I think Ryan knows that.