A Message In A Dream....

     December 29th is the anniversary of my dad's death.  On this day I found myself constantly thinking about my dad, as I always do...but this year, I also found myself with constant thoughts of Ryan.  I wondered what they were doing?  Were they spending time together?  What do they do in heaven?  Do they miss us?  Does Ryan miss me?  Wondering if you are in the glory of heaven, would you ever have the feelings of missing someone?  Just random thoughts and questions I have frequently, as I try to stumble through my life without him here.
     I received an email from Ryan's friend...the one who has the meaningful dreams of Ryan.  She told me she had another dream on the 29th (coincidence....I don't think so).  She said Ryan appeared to her again, specifically asking her to tell me something for him.   When he was done telling her, he told her he loved her, and thanked her for sharing the other dreams with me.  This is what he said....


    " Goodbyes are not forever,
    Goodbyes are not the end.
    They just mean I'll miss you,
    Until we meet again.
I love you mom, and miss you more then you know."


     Once again, I was left in awe.  I did not share the thoughts, feelings, and questions I was having this day with anyone.  But somehow Ryan knew, and even more then this, he knew how important it was for me to know the answer.  He continues to reach out, nurture, and love.  He is teaching me that even though someone is in heaven, and living a life far more beautiful then we could ever imagine, they are still with us.  They hear us, they know our thoughts, they feel our hearts.  They continue to love us...because even though the body is gone, the spirit lives on.  The spirit is where love is born and lives...it never dies.  This knowledge does not take away the sadness or pain of having him physically gone.  It does not heal the brokenness I feel within.  However, it does bring a sense of comfort and hope.  It confirms my beliefs, and opens my eyes so much wider.  
     A message in a dream....I asked God to always help me hear what Ryan is saying or showing me, promising them both I will always have my heart and eyes open...Ryan is reaching out, and God is helping me to see and hear.  I will keep my promise.